The Art and Kindness of Negotiation
Posted 11/3/2009

Yesterday I had the most incredible experience in the art of kind negotiation. It started when my husband and I decided to consolidate our phone lines and invest in iPhones. We had a friend who guided us through her experience, and we followed her advice by starting our journey at Best Buy with two refurbished iPhones and a sweet IT student named John. After doing a bit of research, John discovered I had a "contract" with AT&T that I didn't know existed--a contract that extended my commitment two more years.  In order to "buy it out" and go with another plan (still using AT&T as a provider), we would have to pay an additional $200. I was completely taken off guard. Months before, my first cell phone, which I lovingly referred to as "the brick," had given up the ghost. The LED display didn't work anymore, and the battery couldn't hold a charge for five minutes. So, on a beautiful summer day, I surrendered “the brick” and bought the cheapest-of-the-cheap replacement phone. Little did I know that when I did this, AT&T automatically tied me to another two year contract!

Such is how I wound up on the other side of the desk from a tense but still smiling college student who had to deliver the bad news. I thought about it for a moment and decided that this was a challenge I was definitely up for. After all, I have friends who are all loyal AT&T subscribers--one who even managed the marketing of a local office. So, I called on my posse. The first text was to my marketing manager friend. "Help!” I texted frantically.  “I need help renegotiating a contract I didn't know I had!" She immediately replied with the name of a woman who was the local liaison to Best Buy and John the IT student connected with her to find out whether there was anything she could do to help.

While we were waiting for her response, I joked with John about knowing the general manager of the store and how I was impressed with her business acumen. Along the way I managed to slip in a "I wonder whether knowing the GM would help me?" "Not really," John answered honestly. We waited 45 minutes for a response from the liaison--all the while watching Ice Age II with our five-year-old camped out on the floor in front of the biggest TV I have ever seen. The answer came: I needed to see the manager at the local store. It was 5 p.m., and I wasn't ready to give up yet. My good humor had gotten us this far--perhaps it would continue to serve us.

As we piled into the car, I rang another friend (the one I blame for getting us into this to begin with) who I thought might be in the area of the downtown store. It turns out she was, and as I explained the situation, she parked her car and joined our mission in locating the store manager, “Greg.” It took her no less than five minutes to hunt down Greg (in his office upstairs) and put him on her phone to chat with me.

I started sharing my story with Greg--laughing the entire time and trading political jabs while begging for his help. Greg and I joked with each other about Big Ten football while he jovially pulled up my record on his computer. When I was a block away, I hung up, ran into the store and up the stairs, and met Greg in person. He was still smiling, and trying to help sort out the situation.

Long story short--I never lost my laugh, and neither did they. From the very start while working with John, we laughed our way through the situation, and in the end that kindness and light-heartedness helped solve the cell phone snag.

The next day I returned with a care package (containing a six-pack of my favorite microbrew) and a thank-you card for my new friend Greg and everyone else who helped me upgrade my technology.  Once I arrived at the downtown store, in less than 30 minutes I was out the door, laughing my way down the street.

As a businessperson who is constantly on the move, I am often faced with situations that test my slim patience. In this case, I decided to find the funny in each dead end while tapping into my network of friends for help and guidance. What a perfect way to end a day--with the reminder that challenges tend to disappear when the fun factor is raised. 

Kudos to my new friend Greg, Jodi (who had replaced my phone just months earlier), my savvy marketing connect who helped get the ball rolling, my dear Rastafarian friend who ran interference on site while I was en route, and, last but not least, a smart, talented aspiring IT professional at Best Buy who in all the confusion was nothing but kind.

Find your funny bone. And my guess is others will too.